I was
NAIL BITER
HAIR CHEWER
THUMB SUCKER
A blemish
on the family name
Shorn of my hair
Gloves on my hands
Just saving you, they said,
Boys don’t like freaky girls
Yet still I yearn for that familiar weight
Pressing against my tongue
I compensate
Replacing flesh with inanimate objects
Pens, pencils, straws, spoons
Offer comfort
Sooths
The urge to fill that hole in my face
But again they go accusing me of indecency
Be a lady, don’t bring shame upon the family name
So I rebel against the compulsion
Reign in my straying fingers
Grit my teeth so that
I won’t stain
That precious family name
I am master of my body now
No longer harbouring
Any desire to suck
Yet still I find
That no boy
Wants me
Now.
